The Day Wine Left My Life Without A Fight
Some choices don't feel like giving something up. They feel like finally choosing yourself.
ID 163819332 | Choose Life © Sonerbakir | Dreamstime.com
Some choices don’t feel like sacrifice. They feel like finally choosing yourself.
When I let wine go, there was no last toast—just clarity, presence, and a longer horizon to walk toward.
The Day Wine Left My Life Without A Fight
Some choices don't feel like giving something up. They feel like you are finally choosing yourself.
Some goodbyes don't hurt. They make sense.
I gave up every form of liquor except wine in 2021.
Quietly. Intentionally. For reasons that felt both personal and physical.
I promised myself a scotch for special occasions and celebrations, such as my birthday and New Year's Eve. I had my special scotch for those days, the first year.
And I forgot all about it, even to ask Bill, in the second year. We laughed about it as he had his scotch whiskey for the New Year.
Wine stayed. Not as rebellion, not as ritual, not because of need, just as the last little thread I wasn't ready to cut.
Until recently.
I didn't wrestle with the decision. I made no final toast.
Just a steady moment of recognition: Wine no longer fits my life.
My doctor—possibly the kindest person I've met in forever—wasn't dramatic about it.
He said, "I want you to stay in your two beautiful homes, with all those stairs, for as long as possible. I don't want wine to complicate that."
He was right.
Then he told me something else: His entire family had stopped drinking.
Not out of crisis, but conviction—after seeing again and again how alcohol and cancer can intertwine.
They made the decision together: no more.
And something in me responded. Not with guilt or resistance. But with calm: Yes. Me too.
When I told a friend, she bristled. "Not everyone can, you know."
She's right.
Some choices are hard. Some choices never come at all.
But this one didn't come from a place of pressure. It came from peace.
I hadn't given anything up—and maybe that is the difference.
I had stepped toward the next version of myself—
the one who chooses clarity, presence, and her long horizon.
What I let go of wasn't wine.
It was the idea that I needed it to belong in my own life.
Not every transformation comes with pain. Some arrive when you're finally ready to choose yourself.